Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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