the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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