i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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