When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think a kid would responsible me up
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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