i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
