I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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