apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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