Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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