We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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