Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
