At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
