You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
