idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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