You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
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First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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