I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
