I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize