My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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