Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You just made me feel so damn special
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
