On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We had sex on a dog bed..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
