Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
