Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
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We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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