out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
