yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
