She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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