btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
