there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
