I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
