why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
my poor anus
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
