That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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