you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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