I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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