i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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