i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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