I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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