I like to think it a success when the cops are called
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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