Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.