She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever