I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize