Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
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We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I said "one day" and that day is not today