a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
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I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".