I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude i'm inner monologue high
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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