this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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