You're earring is so big in my mouth
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize