so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
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hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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