I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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