We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
