I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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