I wannas sexs uuuuu
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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