i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
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tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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