I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
