If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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