I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize