all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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