Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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