Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
