I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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