When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
