I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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