Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
